Hey Lady
by talesmith
Summary: Phryne manages to get Dot out of a pickle but ends up with a ten gallon hat and a room full of admirers in the process.


Dot has spent the afternoon watching over a wee lot in the nursery in the church annex. As a volunteer she does this twice a week and Phryne or Mr. Butler will pick her up when her shift is over.

Today Phryne enters the annex and finds her dear Dot in such a pickle:

"Miss Phryne, Gladys is running late and Father Broger wants to see me. I should have been in his office half hour ago. Would you mind just keeping an eye on the children until Gladys arrives or I get back?"

After peeking into the nursery Phryne says "Now Dot, you know I don't do children and when I do acknowledge them it's only children after a certain age."

"They're mostly between five and seven years old miss and really not that bad at all. The lot even entertain themselves for the most part."

"Oh, all right then, but do what you need to do as quickly as you can"

Dot, being about seven and one half months pregnant with Hughs and her first child waddles on down the hall in search of Father Broger.

_Meanwhile_ mysterious eyes are watching this tale unfold.

Phryne slowly enters the nursery trying her best to blend in with the walls and has just taken a dozen steps or so when she hears this raspy "Hey lady."

Looking around the room she hears raspy "Hey lady" again and this time it seems to be coming from a pint-sized body under a ten gallon hat.

Phryne slowly approaches Ten Gallon Hat and asks if she can help.

Ten Gallon Hat informs "I have to go potty and can not reach handle on the door."

Phryne asks Ten Gallon Hat "If I open the door can you manage everything else?"

Ten Gallon Hat replies "I can do the rest lady" as he wraps his little hand around the left index finger of a much relieved Phryne Fisher and leads her to the potty door.

Phryne opens the troublesome door and informs Ten Gallon Hat, not to fear, that she will leave it ajar so that he can get out with no problem when she feels an unexpected tug on the right side of her long flowing silk duster coat.

She immediately looks down and discovers another little body that begins to wiggle its tiny finger at her.

Lady detective that she is knows to follow Wiggling Finger across the room. So off she goes in hot pursuit.

Wiggling Finger introduces her to a very sad face with a serious problem.

Lady detective ascertains that Sad Faces paper aeroplane has landed atop the tot towering bookcase and must deduce a way to get it down.

She picks up Sad Face and flies him around in the air and then thrusts him upwards so he can reclaim his treasured toy and then she brings boy and toy in for a safe landing back on the nursery floor.

Oh what the heck, Phryne decides to give Wiggling Finger a ride in the air too.

Leaving happy Wiggling Finger and no longer Sad Face behind she meanders back across the room to deal with Bickering Boy and Squabbling Girl.

No longer in lady detective mode, Phryne demands in her best Honourable Miss Fisher voice, "Quiet!" and proceeds to ask a now speechless Bickering Boy and a silent Squabbling Girl "What seems to be the problem?" before things get totally out of hand and Bickering or Squabbling pops one or the other on their stubborn little heads.

Fluidly sitting down on the floor Phryne informs the two "There are more than enough blocks to go around" and she further explains to Bickering Boy " Little girls have brains too and can build or do whatever else they decide they want to do." She then goes on to build the most awesome block structure known to all wee humankind and leaves Bickering and Squabbling both gaping at the eighth wonder of the world.

Pretty pleased with herself over handling these emergencies and rethinking perhaps it is wrong after all for alligators to eat their young, Phryne suddenly hears the wail of a very loud siren in the distance.

Phryne thinks I know that noise and it's definitely not associated with a five, six or seven-year old.

Snapping back into lady detective mode she deduces that's the dreaded B word…..That's a BABY!

The word baby always makes Phryne freeze, however, she musters up all her strength and sidles over to the small crib holding the teensy-weensy human and softly says "Hello Baby"

She is rewarded with a very red-faced, wailing, arms and legs flailing bundle of extremely unhappy energy.

Finding the old cootchie-cootchie-coo tickle under the chin routine and her scant choice of other baby talk words to be of no avail, lady detective that she is, she decides to probe the problem further.

She soon discovers Baby is leaking and is perplexed about how something so small can leak so much.

Suddenly a raspy "Hey lady" pulls Phryne from her musing.

She looks down to see Ten Gallon Hat who grabs her index finger, yet again, and pulls her over to a partitioned corner of the room.

Looking over all the clues, Phryne quickly deduces that this is an area filled with all the stuff Baby can possibly need.

Squatting down Phryne shakes Ten Gallon Hats little hand and thanks him for his directions yet again.

She rolls up her sleeves, wipes her brow, that is now residing between two thumping temples, collects Baby, deposits her on the table behind the little partition and begins to dismantle her wee wet duds.

To the tune of a contented, dry, bare, baby goo-gooing, cooing and gurgling, Phryne experiments with nappy folding. She soon discovers that she can make squares, rectangles, tri-folds, octagons and triangles and ultimately she decides to go with the triangle.

Reaching for Baby exactly when a geyser decides to erupt (she turns out to be a he) causes Phryne to move like a flash and yet again ponder over how such a little thing can leak so much.

Baby finally runs dry and Phryne grabs for and fumbles the powder causing a fine white layer to sprinkle over table, baby and herself. Oh well, even the pros have a little faux pas from time to time, so she forges on to restore Baby in his fresh duds. The end result is unorthodox but does the job nonetheless.

_Meanwhile_ the no longer mysterious eyes, for they belong to Dot and Father Broger, really begin to twinkle as they watch this tale unfold, in the room next to the nursery, through a two-way mirror generally used to monitor the little lot."

"Well Dorothy, I believe Miss Fisher does pass muster so I will go along with your request for her to be your baby's Godmother."

Totally unaware that she's softly patting her now rather big belly, Dot informs Father Broger "I've always known my miss could do it but this little adventure will help her see that she can do it too, before Hugh and I make her our special request"

"I believe Miss Phryne is beginning to rub off on you too Father Broger"

"The Lord works in mysterious ways Dorothy (of course the fixed roof, new bell in the tower and always very tidy sum in the needy fund provided by Mrs. Stanley doesn't hurt either)

" Father Broger, If I ever had the slightest doubt that she would be the perfect choice, which I haven't, I knew the moment Ten Gallon Hat grabbed hold of Miss Phryne's finger that there could be no other choice.

Finally, with happy Baby deposited back in crib, fatigued Phryne finds her own way over to a tempting rocker sitting by an arched stained glass window.

Just getting all comfortable in the rocking chair, Phryne hears a familiar raspy "Hey lady"

Ten Gallon Hat moseys up to Phryne and asks "Hey lady, will you help me read my book?"

Phryne skillfully puts Ten Gallon Hat in her lap and he hands her his treasured volume. She gushes "Oh how lovely, one of my favorites about the adventures of the famous Winnie-the-Pooh and pals. Can you tell me where Pooh lives?

Ten Gallon Hat says "Everybody knows Pooh lives in Hundred Acre Wood, lady."

Phryne manages to stifle a laugh into a yawn and begins to read using different voices for Pooh, Piglet, Kanga, Roo and others as she tricks Ten Gallon Hat into helping her by reading along too.

Pooh and pals are quite active so twenty minutes into the book, Ten Gallon Hat falls sound to sleep, his pint-sized body all snuggled up against Phryne, making tiny sleepy sounds with his small thumb plugged securely into his little O shaped mouth.

Quietly placing the book on the side table and ever so gently removing the now squashed ten gallon hat, Phryne is surprised to discover, he is really a she wearing wee faded overalls.

As she gingerly brushes the wee ones fringe aside two big sapphire blue eyes briefly look up at her before drowsily fluttering shut and fondly Phryne Fisher automatically begins rocking the pint-sized, blonde haired, girl to sleep again.


End file.
